Friends

So I finally cleared X7 again... yayyyy >_> Now I have a clear data and never have to play that miserable game again :D!! I say that, but as soon as I cleared it, I started playing a new game LOLOL. But I just played through the radio tower with X and then quit XZD

I also played a bunch more Kingdom Hearts II. Was about to get to some really cool scenes, but then X wanted to come over so I just sat around and leveled up Wisdom Form... now that and Valor are both at max for what they can be now (lv5). I don't remember if they can go higher later >_> And then I messed around with the gummi and built a gummi but it wasn't all that great. I can only get S on Stardust Sweep lv1 and like I fail at everything else and get like C or worse :\ And building a gummi is hard T_T I want like... an upgrade so I can put more parts on, but IDK how to get it. Oh well.

A little more detail on what I did in KH2: ( Spoilers and maybe disturbing things...? And then some complaining... )

IDK, like... when I am playing a game or watching something, I want to experience every last bit of it. I mean the creators made all the parts so you could see them. They didn't put parts in to give you some extra time to check or play on facebook. It's all part of the experience. To like actively look away, even during the early parts of a scene where there's not as much traditional activity... it seems like... you have no appreciation for the creator's hard work they put into making it. You just want to see 'good parts' and don't actually care about the overall work.

This is why it's annoying to watch movies or whatever with people because there's ALWAYS something distracting. Even if it's a minor thing, like them shifting position where they're sitting, sniffling, scratching an itch, whatever... it takes my mind off the experience and makes me remember I'm sitting and watching a screen. I like to be fully absorbed! It's especially distracting when people like... look at you during funny parts X_X; BUT LIKE SO MANY PEOPLE DO THIS and I don't understand. Like, what are you looking for...?

Another thing people do is like... ruin sad or emotional parts by looking at you. Like, even if it's not in the middle of active thing, usually after a really dramatic part, there is still a lot of stuff going on on the screen, even if it's just like... music and panning over scenery or something like that. It's still part of the drama. But people are like "oh the sad thing happened, now I should look around and make sure everyone else is looking around" or something random like that, idk. It completely ruins the mood that was just set up. You're supposed to sit and look at the stuff and think about what just happened. Not forget it and focus your attention on like... the audience.

IDK, I like... forget that the audience even exists when I'm watching/playing things... to actually THINK ABOUT THEM in the middle of watching something is completely bizarre to me. And to think and notice enough to start looking around?! To me that kind of feeling like... doesn't even exist. I don't understand people who don't like to get absorbed in watching/playing things. Like, what are you watching it for if you don't want the full experience? You just want to know what happens...? Can't you just read a brief summary and it's just like you watched it? I mean you're pretty much getting the same experience, because your mind isn't even in it. It's just like getting a summary that you read really slowly or something o______________o;;

And yeah, anyway, that's about it. That was really my whole day today. o_____o; I kinda wanna go play EO2 or TM4, but like... uh... it's already 3 AM and I'm kinda tired. I guess I still have a few hours til it gets light outside. It'll start getting light around 7:30 or 8 I think. I don't really care to be awake that much during the day because there is light and sometimes my father is here and yeah. I don't have like ANYTHING to do b/c it's break and etc.

The only remnant of a dream I can remember from last night is that I was eating shells, and like... someone kept throwing like... candy bar wrappers (like from bite-size ones) into it, and I thought it was kinda funny and just ate the shells AND the wrappers. But sometimes there were chocolate bars because they just throw the uneaten ones in there, too, so I ended up eating chocolate with the shells. I ate all of it but around 6 chocolate bars that I left in the bottom, and I told them it tasted really weird to eat the chocolate with the shells, but the wrappers were OK because they didn't taste much. I was going to go wash off the leftover chocolate bars and eat them, but I woke up. I think the person throwing them in was my brother.

That's all I remember XZD;

Before going to sleep last night, I laid in bed and played Tokimeki Memorial 4. Funtimes. I started a new game and focused on studies, but I decided to join the like... literature club thing (where you write the poems, IDK what to call it) and this actually made it HARDER to meet Godo-san because she was in that club, too, I guess, and she won't meet you until the club camp thing. And like, my lit studies were at like 120 or something by then, and I think you normally only need like 60 to meet her X______X; So I met her really late... but now I am dating her and Hoshikawa... but I'm starting to focus on Godo more, even though Hoshikawa is so cute :)

I hope the girls have stories like the TM3 girls. If they are just kindof... stereotypes and personalities that confess to you like TM1, I will get bored fast >_>;

So far I have not actually raised any affection on anyone, but I've been on about 3 or 4 dates with each, so it's not that far. And no big events. I took Hoshikawa to the summer festival! She was so cute, and I got to play golfish catching :) I even caught a turtle... but for some reason I couldn't catch one of those black fish :( I had at least 1 of all the other types. I didn't even meet Godo by the festival, so I couldn't take her >_>;

So far I've taken Godo to library and the plant garden place and uh... the central park I think? She's so hard to please! I never get バッチリ answers with her (though I think I did like... once...) and I have a feeling if I pick the other answers, she'd get angry!

I had a date with Hoshikawa the week after a date with Godo, and when that happens it makes you remember where you're supposed to go that day, and if you pick right, it always makes the girl late and gives you the option of thinking maybe you're late and going to the other place to see if you were wrong. But of course I was right so Godo was late... and it was SOOOOOO cute :D Normally she seems like pissy before the dates but she was all apologetic and I liked it :)

I really hope she uh... tones down the bitchiness later. I wasn't really expecting a stuck-up glasses girl (I mean if you look at her, she is super cute and looks like she'd be a shy type) and sometimes it's annoying. Like one time I gave an answer on a date and she gave me marks and said my answer was only 50 points! wtf!! But when you do things with the club she is kinda shy, which is weird. Like we are in the same club so she is nice during the club events (except the first time when she freaks out, as per 'storyline') and when we went around the culture festival together, she was overall very nice and kinda shy (though when she got hungry she like... yelled at me and like was embarrassed that I was hungry and said we had to go eat lol).

But despite her attitude I am still falling for her lololol. She is too cute, and the way she is mean is like... in a cute way LOL. And hopefully they will explain this wall she puts up in a cool story so I'm excited :)

I played EO2 and got like really far in the 2nd floor and made a lot of map. It's so scary dodging all the FOEs out there though o___o; I'm def not ready to take them on. My DS started to run out of juice so I plugged it in and the game has been on sleep mode since... I need to pick it back up! I don't have much to do but to run back to Yagaard (because I couldn't buy a warp wire b/c I was poor and I don't want to game over out there o_o!)

OK so last night everyone came over and we played monopoly and it was really fun. My brother ended up winning but it was funny because Joe held on with like... just the cyan properties for a really long time. After all the properties were sold, I had Reading and Ventnor... that's it... :( :( but I had like $3000. So I bought some things from Joe but... it ended up making him get 2nd place and me like... near last XZD I then played my brother's agent and sorted his money. Alex and Ellen played too. It was a reunion.

I also played X7 for like 2 seconds and got the heart tank in Crowrang's stage and oooooomfg it is so annoying to get. You can never tell if you're on it or not because you can't like... judge distance or size or anything in that game lol. But I got it...! And then saved. woot.

In KH2 I have been playing a lot... cleared a ton of worlds yesterday and today (Pretty much EVERYTHING starting from Land of Dragons up until Port Royal :) Locked all of those...) and also started working on some questing... Did some stupid minigames and stuff. Not going to perfect the saving Piglet in the wind thing any time soon... that will be a rainy day activity for sure...

I did get the journal completion score though (18k+ I think) and did a lot of other random journal completion things. I went back and got all the treasures I missed -- which were 7 in total. One was at the top of the little grass castle thing in the courtyard of Disney Castle. I actually went up to open it but started fighting stuff and forgot that I never actually opened it. My brother realized it was that one right away when I saw I was missing one lol. Then the three in the courtyard of Beast's Castle because you never actually have to go out there, and after clearing Beast's Castle, it like... forced me back to Hallow Bastion and I forgot to go back and pick those up. And then the last three were in that... moonlit trove or whatever area in the Port Royal world, right before you go fight Barbossa. I died on him a few times (rather Jack died every time, which is a game over anyway...) and eventually started running through that room (that's where you continue from) which means I left the treasures unopened.

I did some stupid skateboard thing in Hallow Bastion, did that stupid finny fun song again in Atlantica...

BTW I want to say that Kingdom Hearts II is a bad game. Like, it has really poor design. If you like collecting, there is a lot of satisfaction because you're just CONSTANTLY collecting, but as far as gameplay, there is like... nothing. This game is 100% mash X and win. But sometimes you have to mash triangle. It would be a QTE but it's not. You're supposed to press them with precise timing, but the windows to press triangle in are huge, and you are not punished for pressing outside the window, so you can just kinda tap the button casually while you wait for the window and you are guaranteed to hit it unless you're only tapping like once every second which would be incredibly slow and stupid.

Seriously you just sit there and mash X. You don't even have to walk over to enemies because you get abilities that make it so while you're mashing X you'll just kinda fly over to them. The only enemy that causes me trouble are those one guys with the big spears in Land of Dragons, and they only were annoying when I was supposed to be keeping the morale gauge up because if you get caught in one of their attacks you lose like ALL the morale gauge.

KH1 was kinda mash-x-and-win, but sometimes you had to heal or use an item. And then when I played that game on Expert, it was really difficult and very fun and you had to react to enemies and learn patterns and dodge and fight. It was really cool.

In KH2, I am playing on Proud (this game's "expert") and so far I am mashing X. It is extremely tedious. The game is also full of cutscenes, which is cool because I am playing through it this time mostly for story as I've already 100%d the game before, but like... it's a bit overloaded that it still gets boring. You can sometimes sit and watch scenes for like 10 minutes, then actually play for about 25 seconds, then watch another 5 minutes of scenes. It's insane. And it's just scenes all the time.

The gummi ship things are also REALLY long, which is cool when you're wanting to play gummi but when you're wanting to go on with the game it's very NOT cool. And you have to sit there and mash X the whole time... and quickly... and it's soooo long T_T

Anyway, Beast is hot and everyone in Port Royal is hot, too.

I just installed TokiMemo4 on my PSP so hopefully it will cut out all the loading and SCCHKKGGKKKRR SCHHKSKSKKRRHRKKR SSCKSKHGKGKSSKKRRR. Srsly PSP is so annoying T_T I'm surpsrised how good Persona is with the loading though... I'd figure it would SCKGHKR a lot more with all the music and video :O

I want to get out the soundtrack and rip it to my pc so I can listen, but like... IDK, it's annoying to rip CDs T_T I might just download it. But I mean it's the same as ripping mine, right? >_>

I really want to play Persona 4 and Metal Gear Solid 2 and Eternal Poison recently but like... IDK, I don't have time to play them alone so I just won't play them >_> Maybe I can make a TON of money for the rest of the year and actually take summer off...?!

OH YEAH I forgot, I played two days in Another Wonderful Life today. Just watered the trees and milked the cow. Yes, cow =_= Amitie is the only one giving me milks. And she only gives one milk now. And the quality is decreasing... but Auron FINALLY grew up and now when I "milk" him he gets excited and gives me ♥s so YAY he is ready to impregnate Ange :) I ordered the service and Tak will go alone in the barn with my cows and make them moo on the next day I play :) Because I slept and saw him say that but then turned it off :O

I'm starting to get bored with that game because I've run out of things to do :( I have like everything in the game except for some fish. So now my days are like...

Hug chickens
Water trees
Fertilize trees
Tend to cows
Fish for many many many hours
Collect eggs
Water trees
Fertilize trees
Tend to cows
Fish a little bit or go run circles around Griffin
Sleep

srsly that's so boring T_T And EVERY SINGLE day is like that except on Van days in which "Fish for many many many hours" becomes "Fish for many many hours" and is followed by "Sell crap to Van" before "Collect eggs."

But yeah I'mma go play some TokiMemo4 now :) I'm going to restart from the beginning >_> And I'm going to focus less on art and music and more on studies because I want to aim for... that one girl. LOL. I don't know their names yet very well... I only played like an hour... and I met like 100 girls. Tsugumi is her given name, but I don't remember the family name and I feel weird calling her by her given name >_>;

OK so last night I decided to lay in bed and play a game before sleeping. I took TokiMemo4 and Persona in there, but I didn't feel like playing PSP that much, and I also had my DSi which I had put Etrian Odyssey II in just in case. And omg, I'm glad I decided to play that...!

It definitely satisfied that 'sex appeal' game I was looking for, ahahaha. It was kindof annoying at first because I restarted the game 4 times because I was unhappy with my skill point distribution (not trying to manipulate luck -- you get to distribute them yourself, but I just kept doubting my original distributions and restarting to try something else before I even stepped into the labyrinthe).

My guild is named "Halifax" and consists currently of five members that all go exploring:

FRONT LINE
Raechel - Defender (The one with long blonde hair)
Nakayama - Ronin (The scruffy old man one)

BACK LINE
Richard - War Magus (The old bearded gentleman one with the flowing hair)
Thaao - Medic (The one with the long blonde hair)
Leonard - Gunner (The one with the short facial hair)

And it's awesome :)

I made up stories for them because this game is kindof like... role playing by yourself (XZD;; I LOVE IT SHUT UP) and like, I'm not sure exactly how it goes yet because like it keeps jumping around in my head, but I'll make a more definite as I go along.

So far, the 'version' I like the best kinda goes like ( rambling )

My team is a bit unbalanced, biased toward defense. Raechel, Richard, and Thaao all focus on defensive strategy (though Raechel does have a sword and takes the front lines) and learning healing techniques. Nakayama and Leonard are the most offensive members, with Leonard still being a back-row member whose greatest strength is variety in technique...

A lot of Richard's potential skills require enemies afflicted with status ailments, though the party isn't really able to do that, so he's also going to be primarily a healer. I guess I could still give him swords and put him on the front line, away from Thaao, but I don't want to because of his personality I've created LOL. But maybe he can 'see the need' for it or something (as their times in the labyrinthe aren't going so well right now...)

So yeah. I'm not sure what I'm going to do right now XZD; If this game is anything like the first, it's going to be extremely difficult and require a LARGE variety of skills to proceed through the game, so... I might have to be registering some new guild members and bother handling all of them and switching them out and stuff, meaning a lot more exp gathering for me... >_>

In actual gameplay progress, everyone is level 4 (except Nakayama at 3 because he dies a lot...) and I've completed the map of the 1st floor (or at least as much as I can now, if it's anything like the first game) and finished a couple of quests. Floor 2 is already proving to be quite difficult (even the end of floor 1 was pretty hard with those Crawler enemies...)

AND YEAH as for sex appeal, this game is awesome. I'm too lazy to go into all the different attractive characters lolol.

But yeah, uh, I think I did other things yesterday too >_>; Oh yeah, I got out EBA and OTO2 while X was here, and I like... got a new hi-score on Canned Heat with the Divas lolololol. I was pretty much just playing around though, so I didn't really break any old scores XZD;

Hi-Score: 310250
Shooting Down: 01771
Percentage: 86%

OK, so my brother and I are playing 1942, and we just popped in the game and he played first and got to like Last 26 Stage (out of 32, but it starts at 32 and counts down, so it's really like stage 7) and got like 133900 points o_o!! And I was like WOW you are doing really well O___O because I mean that's like better than I was getting after a lot of practice and all like IMMA GET THE WORLD RECORD even though I was like sucking major.

Then I played and got 310k and got to Last 25 Stage o___________________o; I was really surprised, too. Then my brother played again and got like 90k and died on Last 32 LOLLLL.

This game is funnnn. I love Capcom games LOL. I wish we were playing Mega Man though 9_9;

I was like "Hey want to play Mega Man or Super Mario 64?" and somehow we're playing 1942... XZD;;

This game hurts my thumb so bad XZD ow ow ow

Click this first.

In other news, I finally cleared Reverse/Rebirth! I did this like... yesterday, then started in on KH2 right away. I forgot how crappy KH2 is T_T I'm like... very sad about playing this game again. Also, I don't know how to defeat those like... enemies with the big spear things in Land of Dragons O_o like the toughest of the common heartless there. :\ On Normal you can just mash X and eventually they will die, but on Proud you actually have to like TRY, lol. And I can't do it.

Even my brother who likes pretty much anything (he wanted CARNIVAL GAMES for Wii =___=) was watching me play and was like "Wow, this 'Morale Gauge' is stupid..." and I was like YEAH I KNOW. THE WHOLE GAME IS MINIGAMEISH AND STUPID LIKE THIS. And he was like >_> because he loved the first two KH games lol.

At the end of R/R I seriously was just running past Heartless and throwing out Map Cards just to get through. I ended up clearing the game at like level 48 (where Sora was almost level 70 or something when I cleared the normal game...?) but oh well! At least my journal completion was 100% :) Though one day I'll probably want to max Riku's level (ewwwww) :\ But now I have two clear data savegames and that's nice <3 I want to go back and finish Sora's journal, but I want to finish KH1 completion first.

The ending to R/R was really awesome though. I was REALLY happy with the way it ended, and I have a ton more respect and compassion and sympathy for Riku now. I'm very glad I got this game on PS2 so I could play through his story and see it :) When ( spoilers!! )

In KH1 it takes so long just to get to a world X_x; I actually understood what was going on at the beginning of the game this time though LOL but IDK if my brother understood all that. It's like SO RANDOM and if you don't already know why it's happening I don't think you can just like... guess. And then by the time it's revealed at the end of the Roxas part, you like... don't really remember all the crazy things that happened XZD And like you have no idea who to trust or anything O_o ( more spoilers! )

After playing KH2 for a while, X was over so I played KH1 because first I was showing her where the mayor is in Halloween Town (because yeah it's like... so hard to find him on your own especially if your TV isn't very bright in that world...) and then I made a couple more attempts at Kurt Zisa and Sephiroth. I actually did pretty well on Seph, I could probably defeat him if I changed my customization a bit and put Aeroga back on triangle shortcut. I had changed it to Thundaga because I was doing the Herc Cup time trial (and cleared it! All you get is a Power Up though :\ )

I still can't clear the Pegasus Cup on Time Trial though because of the freaking black fungi. LIKE WTF if I use Stopra, they still escape from it too quickly, and I have no way to defeat them before they turn to stone and like waste ALL my time. Plus fighting Yuffie, Leon, and Cloud takes FOREEEEVVVVVEEERRRRRRRR. Like seriously. Especially Cloud. I got really lucky with him in the Herc Cup (which took me like 3 or 4 tries to clear the time trial, btw) and he mostly just sat and did slashing instead of the EEARRUUAAAGGH dashy things LOL. And so I got to beat him up pretty fast.

The second to last time I did the Herc Cup, it totally cheated me out of the win -- he had just turned back to gold and I threw a barrel at him, but it DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. The barrel busted on his head but he didn't change back to his vulnerable state and I was like WTF WTF WTF and then I had to go back and get another barrel, and the time ran out when I was ONE HIT away from victory -_-; Talk about cheating!!

I've been playing nothing but KH recently and like it makes me sad because this game has very little sex appeal. Er, rather, it has a lot, but nothing I can fantasize about LOLLLL if that even makes sense. Like, IDK, the best thing I can come up with is like DiZ x Naminé or something and like ugh that is boring and kinda weird. All the sex appeal in KH is like... characters I'd want to sleep with, but no one I want to WATCH so I can't fantasize about it. WHY am I so messed up XZDDD

Anyway, I really need to play a game with some old mustache guys in it LOLL. Especially if they have daughters. In Persona, ( spoilers again... )

So IDK what I'm going to do. I'm tempted to play Eternal Poison because N is playing it and it makes me want to play, hearing him talk about it, plus it has SHOCKBERT <3 Or I guess I could play Metal Gear Solid 2 since I really need to play that and I don't think my brother would mind watching it... but I don't like playing story games with people around if it's my first time seeing it, because it ruins it for me. Especially my brother because even if he is watching a scene, he will turn around to check and see if he got a new facebook message like every 2 seconds (even though he won't respond to it til the scene is over, his curiosity and obsession with computer relationships is THAT STRONG that he CAN'T keep his eyes on an exciting scene for like 30 seconds...)

Um, in non-game news, my brother recently opened the vanilla cream soda 2 liter (we bought like 23095823095 2-liters because they were on sale and NO cans were on sale :( So we just bought a single case of Dr Pepper :( :( :( ) and it's really tasty. We got all kinds of yummy stuff like that and pomegranate 7Up and stuff. Luckily we like to drink all these obscure things that no one buys so they're always in stock, lolol. But like, I really would rather drink this stuff than mainstream things. Like... Coke and Pepsi are kinda gross. Coke is OK and Pepsi is disgusting. I'd rather drink like 99 other things than Coke though. (maybe more lol). And I'd much rather have Royal Crown than either of those! We also got a 2-Liter of cherry rush coil, and like we only ever buy RC in cans, so like... I've never had cherry before o___o;

I haven't played a Mega Man game in like... a week!! The cravings are like itching all over, ahaha. I really want to get out the anniversary collection and play through the first 6 (maybe even 7...) but like... IDK, I kinda hate anniversary collection now XZD; I wish someone would buy me them all on NES :( I mean I have like half of them, but I want the rest XZDD I don't remember if I have MM7 on SNES... I think I only have X1 and X2 (and omggggg my friend Danny has X3 T_T I really wish I had it...!)

I guess I can just play MM2-4 XZD; I mean those are the most fun anyway. I still need to work on X7 as well, but =_=;

I haven't really played any more TokiMemo4 because like the battery on my PSP died and like omfg it doesn't give you any indication that it's going to die! It just SUDDENLY DIES ON YOU. It goes into sleep mode, but if you're not around a charger, you just lost your game progress :( I want to start over anyway because I was doing pretty miserable and I think I got a good hang on the new systems now (and omg the like... stamina system is TOUGH in this game! I got sick in the game and even missed a date because of it! And missing a date with Tsugumi is SCAAARRRYYY ahaha o_____o)

I've been wanting to get out Ouendan and EBA recentlyyyy but I don't want to kill my DSi touchscreen >_>

Gah. What is a game I can play and fantasize about?! I guess I could get out Rondo of Swords. I never finished that o_o and it has like 100 hot ppls in it. I need to restart Rune Factory 2 but omfg I like got SO far in that game and then stopped for a year and now I have NO IDEA what's going on, and like... T_T I don't want to restart. Avalon Code is def another game I need to play, but as hot as Xenobart is (or whatever his name is lol) I can't really fantasize about him...? And there's no one to put with him, so...

OH I NEED TO FINISH BLUE DRAGON even though I def can't fantasize about that game LOL. And I need to play Lost Odyssey (I think I'm going to restart that... even though I spent a ton of time learning skills and stuff... T_T)

ETA: HOLY CRAP, go read this topic right now. You don't need to be a member to read topics (though IDK about locked topics, but yeah). Like, it was supposed to be a discussion about Mega Man music but somehow it's about... tongues... and ears... just... wtf XZDDDD Like, gamefaqs has some dumb stuff sometimes, but like... this is pretty funny XZDDD

IDK IDK IDK. I guess I'll just keep playing KH2 for now >_>

IT FINALLY CAME IN THE MAIL

I STARTED PLAYING BUT MY DAD LIKE RUINED IT AND NOW I'M EATING BUT I DID PLAY A LITTLE AND IT'S FUN SO FAR WOOOTTTTTT;lkadsng;laksndg;alskdng;alsdkgn!!!

I just started the game and t hat's about it >_> I named myself 中山　タカオ -- 中山 being the name of like... hottest man evars at my old school, and タカオ being the name of the kid from Beyblade XZD;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

I was going to put my birthday as 2.5 (Amanohashi's) but decided to go with my own (10.24) and put blood type as AB as per my brother's (random) suggestion.

I played the first week and then joined band club (why do you ALWAYS play trumpet in band club in games?! Though I think in TMGS you played flute, actually) as per my brother's random suggestion as well. Though thinking about it now, that might lead me to being able to meet that cute girl with the headphones :) (I don't really know anyone's names yet except for Hoshikawa who is your CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE classmate, and your childhood friend whose name is Ookura (my brother calls her Fried Okra lol) but your character calls her Miyako from the start so maybe I should call her that...

But yeah Miyako is cute, too, and kinda funny. I already want to date those two girls :D They are both so cute :)

I have been able to play through without a dictionary so far YAY (which... is good b/c I've barely played any XZD I'm sure I'll need one later :( Especially if something is not voiced or I didn't hear the voice... is there a 'repeat voice' thing in this game...?)

Oh and your teacher is so weird LOL

My alarm played Gackt this morning. It was just so weird I couldn't go back to sleep lol. I also decided to set two alarms last night just for fun. IDK why, I just felt like trying the alarm on my new(?) phone because I don't think I have tried it before. My normal alarm didn't go off this morning, so I guess it's a good thing I had that whim last night O_o

Teaching gym today woot. Hopefully it's as easy as last time.

Very thirsty.

Last night got to the last world in Reverse/Rebirth. It took me less than 8 hours to get there, and that's including breaks to eat/restroom/etc while the game was still on. So uh, it's very short. I'm thankful for that because it's also very tedious and boring. Seriously, it sucks. I'm just painfully forcing myself through the gameplay to see the story. I'm probably going to just shove out room cards to get to the ending, running through and dodging Heartless.

I had a random joker card but I accidentally used it on a really easy door. I was like... going through each of my cards and seeing how many of each value I had, so I was just quickly going select-cancel-right-select-cancel-right and I didn't realize I had gotten to the joker slot already and pressed select on it and used it. And because the game was so tedious I had been skipping save points and only saving when I was going to stop (since you can always just continue if you die, and you don't lose anything). The ONLY thing I would need to load a game for messing up would be accidentally using my joker. But like, I hadn't saved for like... 2 hours or something... so whatever, bye joker.

In a way, I'm excited to play KH2, but in a way, I'm very much not. I want to see the story again now that it might make more sense to me (because I've read about it a lot -- it makes NO SENSE if you're just playing it... lol) but uh... it's KH2... which means it's totally NOT FUN to play and the systems are all dumb and the direction and as;lkdjfa;lskdjfas;ldkfj. At least I'll get to play through Land of Dragons and Beast's Castle again <3 <3 <3

TokiMemo4 STILL has not come in the mail :(

People are saying that they should make a Mega Man X9 like they made MM9 and MM10. As in, like, purposefully stupid story and SNES graphics.

UM PLEASE NO.

If we do get MM9, I'd much rather the point of the game be to expand on the story of the series and characters. Of course, I want it to be a fun game so I can keep replaying it, but I don't want purposefully stupid...

Classic MM story is w/e since most of the story was like 4 lines of dialogue or narration per game (if that), and 7 and 8 sucked so IDC about their stories anyway :\

Plus MMX was the only good SNES MMX game -- X2 and X3 were mediocre and def outdone by the PSX games.

Basics

First Name: Marcus
Middle Name: Thaao
Birthday: 10.24
Eyes: 2
Hair: yes
Fav color: brown
Day/Night: Twilight
Fave Food: tea??

FRIENDS AND LIFE

Do you ever wish you had another name? No
Do you like anyone? DISLIKE ALL PPLS RAWR
Which one of your friends acts the most like you? Uhm. Ricky. But not. Like, we don't really act the same, but I think we're the most similar...?
Who's the loudest? Uhhhhhhh RICKY AND KATHERINE
Who have you known the longest of your friends? Joe
Who's the shyest: Uh. IDK, I guess me. But I wouldn't call it shy...
Are you close to any family members? My brother.
When you cried the most: Uh... IDK. Like. Ending to FF10. Srsly. XZD;;; I'm sure there's something IRL I cried more at, but I cry all the time so w/e.
What's the best feeling in the world: Relief
Worst Feeling: loneliness, fear

FINISH EACH SENTENCE:

Let's walk on the: boardwalk
Let's run through: Mario 64
Let's look at the: map
What a nice: day
Where did all the: rum go?
Why can't you: sit still.
Silly, little: bandersnatch
Tell me: .

HAVE YOU:

Ran run away from home: not really lol. When I was a kid, I tried, but I didn't last a day. I don't think anyone noticed.
Pictured your crush naked: My fantasies are much more interesting and erotic than that.
Skipped school: LMAO this question should say "Did you ever even go to school?!" srsly. I like barely even went to high school.
Broken someone's heart: No, but I've watched Naminé do it.
Been in love: lol.
Cried when someone died: only fictional characters.
Wanted someone you knew you couldn't have: SOML. Though I don't really "want" people?? Unless you mean want to partake in sexual activity with them, then it's still yes.
Done something embarrassing: No, I'm so totally cool all the time.
Done a drug: Caffeine...?
Cried in school: Sure.

RANDOM

Your Good Luck Charm: Don't have one...? But I want Naminé's good luck charm :D
Person You Hate Most: I don't really hate anyone.
Best Thing That Has Happened: ...? Like, to me? To the world? I don't know. The best thing that could happen to me, potentially, hasn't happened, and when it does, I won't write about it in surveys. Actually, no, that's wrong. The best thing that could happen to me is like the opposite of that, but it's impossible. So the next best thing, the only reasonable one... LMAO omg I'll just stop writing XZD
Ice Cream:

WHO

Makes you laugh the most: Uhhhh IDK. No one in particular.
Has A Crush On You: lmfao.
Do You Have A Crush On Someone?: Didn't they ask this or something? And I guess not.

HAVE YOU EVER

Fallen for your best friend?: No.
Made out with JUST a friend?: Uh. I don't categorize and label the people I care about as if they were sets of data that needed strict separation, so "just a friend" is like... meaningless to me...?
Kissed two people in the same day?: Highly doubtful.
Had sex with two different people in the same day?: No :(
Been rejected: Certainly
Been in love?: lol again???
Been used?: We're all being used and using each other.
Done something you regret?: No, I've always been completely happy about all of my choices in life because they're always the perfect and most beneficial ones with no negative outcomes. I'm just that awesome, you know?
Cheated on someone?: I don't live in a closed-minded world where this even makes sense. lmao.
Been called a tease: No. lol.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...

You touched?: My brother
You talked to on the phone?: My brother
You hugged?: No clue. Prolly some random kid who wanted a hug lol.
You instant messaged?: Srs.
You kissed?: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk.
You yelled at?: I don't know. It's been a while since I yelled at anyone O_o
Who text messaged you?: My brother probably. NO WAIT IT WAS ANT LOL.
Who broke your heart?: Prolly a fictional character XZDD OMFG LIKE MAURICE OMFG.
Who told you they loved you?: My mother.

lalala

So I got called in after sleeping like 3 hours. And I have to go to Lawrence which is like forever away. 235aw;lkgnawoerign230498ngzx,mknba;lfihbg3n0w89bz;lfkhn and it lets out at 5:30. Like... what school is in session that late?? And that means I'll get out after that, too. My job title today is also "4-5 year olds' aide." So uh, I guess I'm working with really little kids. X_X;;

So it's like 7AM and I'm still awake... I'mma wait til like... 8:15 or something and then head to bed, I guess. I mean, if I don't get a job. I want money but I don't feel like working. It's not like I have a choice in whether I get called today or not, so I'm just hoping I don't so I can just rest. But I mean I wouldn't refuse or something if I got called in O_o I'd just be a little disappointed that I couldn't go to sleep. And of course I'd feel nervous about it. I'm feeling really nervous right now.

My last batch of laundry like... smells funny because it sat in the washing machine after washing for a while before I dried it. And like when it sits wet for a while it starts smelling funny. But I didn't want to waste waster and stuff and wash it all again, so I just dried it. And now it kinda smells like wet clothes. But they're dry. X_x; So I'm kinda changing clothes more frequently to get through them faster so I can wash them again. So I'm like changing clothes like a normal person now lol.

I'm really nervous/scared about being called in. I don't know why, but the whole wait in the morning to see if it happens makes me really anxious. And like it makes me feel sick, like my stomach is trying to turn inside out. I just get so nervous and anxious over everything. This has to be like... a disease.

Speaking of, my brother is sick recently, and I've been feeling a little under as well. It's no big, just a tiny bit of stomach problems and I had a headache earlier today (but I blame no caffeine. it was totally fine after a dr pepper).

We also managed to get some food. After a lot of begging, my father helped us get some. I guess that makes me sound like I was overreacting a lot in last post, but like... srsly I get upset when he treats me like that, and as for the food, we've been asking him for help w/ food for like... a week. And it was just getting worse because we were actually reaching the end of the food instead of seeing it coming up. But now we have some stuff to eat for like... a week or two I guess? Maybe longer, idk. We bought tons of sale items and etc. Which means a lot of it is expiring soon, so we have to eat it quickly >_>; But we really stretched our money and got a good bit of food.

I keep checking the job assignment site to see if any new jobs appear. This is the time when they make phone calls, though, so if one appears, it's just because it's in the system, but I shouldn't accept it, because if I do, they'll like... try to sign someone else up for it while they're on the phone and then like it will cause a confusion and stuff...

But I just refresh it and if any jobs come up I sit there and like wait to see if the phone rings and feel really nervous the whole time. And every time I go to refresh, I feel really nervous about clicking the refresh thing.

I'm feeling more and more tired by the minute. I really want to go lay down, even though I'm like way too nervous to sleep or anything now... but it would suck to start to drift off and then get called in. It's better to just sit here. But I have like an hour before it's "safe" to try to fall asleep (even if I got called in for later in the day, I'd still be able to nap).

I played Persona for a while and it's really fun. I just started so I'm not really anywhere yet (still in the hospital/first dungeon/intro thing). It looks like it's going to be really awesome. The battle system is more complex than P3 and P4, and it looks like you're going to be able to lure in new Personas just like luring the devils in Devil Children :) I love the dungeon style (first person grid-based dungeon crawling with map <3) and the movies and music in the game are great. I want to get out the OST and listen to it, but the jewel case like started CRACKING AND FALLING APART when I tried to open it (and I just mean like... opening the jewel case... not like taking plastic off or something O_o) to see what the CDs were like inside, so I just closed it and left it mostly untouched.

http://www.ripten.com/2009/12/10/nintendo-power-scan-reveals-mega-man-10-sheep-man-the-robot-master/

HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP OK I WAS KINDA EXPECTED THIS BUT HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I just hope it gets put on XBLA and PSN, because WiiWare is disgusting and I do NOT want to play that game with the Wii suckmote. But if it comes to it, I'll just play it on there, IDC, MEGA MAN 10.

Sheep Man is kinda wtf but I mean we've had Snake Man, so I guess it's not that weird. Snakes are generally considered more "cool" than sheep, though. Sheep Man also has Hornet Man (... oh, another animal RM XZDD) legs and arms. Like they are same shape and color... kinda weird. Looks like they just pasted Hornet Man parts onto a ... sheep ball thing.

I don't care about playing as Proto Man despite how cool he is because I like to perfect the game as Rock and it takes forever to do that. I mean I still haven't mastered MM9, or really any MM, despite how 'good' I am at them right now XZD And now there's a third character >_>; I really am curious as to who it could be. If it's Roll that would be cute, I guess. I can't really think of anyone else it COULD be, really, but like... IDK I don't want to play as Roll. It was cute in MvC but like... no... not in MM10. That would be awesome as you played as some like... modified old robot like Guts Man or Cut Man or something (or Pharaoh Man <3?) but like I really doubt that would happen. If you could play as Dr Cossack and go around with like... some zappy gun and like weird tool weapons I would like... never play another game LOLLLL.

AND I HOPE DR COSSACK IS IN THIS ONE. I hate how he like... disappeared after MM5 and those stupid Rockboard games! I WANT MORE SEXY BEARDMANSSSS. Dr Light is not enough... and he's not nearly as hot as Dr Cossack. He's like... just cute. Dr Wily is like... cute, too. I want sexy XZD At least every game has some sexy robos (except MM7). I hope this one has some hot metal in it too. Sheep Man is def not hot XZD;; But I can def put him into lots of weird sexual situations LOLOLLLLLLLLLL. I wonder if we will have any womans this time. Splash Woman was cool. Everyone loved her a lot, so maybe they'll put another woman or even more than one :) I want a badass Paine-type LOL. Like uh. BLADE WOMAN or something LOL. She could be like a ninja or something. Or like Bayonetta LOLL

omg omg omg Mega Man 10. We got Tokimeki Memorial 4 and now Mega Man 10. If they make UNLIMITED:Saga 2, Space Channel 5 part 3, Azure Dreams 2, and Mega Man X9, my life will be complete <3

So, I asked my dad if he'd help my brother and I buy groceries. He said no and then yelled at us for having dirty dishes. Not like... dirty dishes around the house or something. They were in/by the sink, just where he puts his. He said we need to do them more often, and that we shouldn't be allowed to eat food so we can't use any dishes.

I told him that I have to pay for all my bills, plus I am being charged $600 this month in his place because he is delinquent on his loan payments, I have a job that only allows me to work half of December, and I am supporting my brother because no one else will, so I can't really afford anything, including food... much less food for two people.

He just ignored me and pretending like I wasn't even there. It hurts really bad when he does this. I used to start screaming in crying in frustration and pain, pleading for him to just respond to me a little bit, to at least tell me to shut up or something, just so that I could feel like I had some kind of existence. Eventually he rolls his eyes or laughs at me, which only makes me feel worse.

I've gotten over expressing myself when I feel hurt like that. Instead I just try to talk myself out of it, tell myself that it's just him trying to hurt me to cover up his own insecurities or something. I don't know. I just try to pretend like nothing really happens, I guess, or that it's meaningless. Maybe it is meaningless. Maybe I just get hurt over nothing.

I don't know why he even cares about the dishes being dirty. I mean that's what happens before you do dishes, isn't it...? We were planning on doing them today. I've lost all the will to do anything today, though. But when he used to live here and didn't live at the casino, he would leave dishes like that as well. It was just as bad as our dishes. Except for that we accumulate them more quickly because I cook and so we use bowls and pots and pans and casseroles and stuff. And so there's a lot more dishes than his usual diet of fast food and frozen foods. But we still wash them at about the same time he would based on quantity. So I don't really understand why it upsets him.

Not that he's even HERE to SEE the dishes -- he's at the casino or work 90% of the time, and when he is here, he's usually asleep. Why does he even care? How does it affect him?

I think he rather doesn't even care about this stuff and just wants to find reasons to make me feel bad and to make excuses for why he can't help us eat. I don't really think that "you don't do dishes at a high enough frequency" is really a reason to tell someone they deserve to starve when they are working, supporting their brother, and paying back YOUR debt because you won't do it. But whatever.

All of this makes me feel pretty worthless though. At least not being able to afford food will give me a reasonable excuse to die of starvation, so maybe I can mask the suicide that way. I've been thinking about it a lot recently anyway. I would leave my brother alone, though, and he wouldn't have anything. He doesn't have a job because he can't get one because of his felony, and he recently lost everything he owned. All he has is the clothes on his back, my dad's couch, and my groceries. That's it.

Of course, no matter how much I try to take good care of him, he will probably still make bad choices that lead to him losing everything anyway in the future. So maybe he doesn't really need me. Maybe he's just using me because he made too many mistakes and doesn't have anything left. I don't want to think of it like that, though.

My brother has the full capacity to be a good person, and he really is a good person at heart, he just constantly does the wrong thing. I don't understand why. Whenever I try to motivate him and explain that the reason for all his suffering is that he choses momentary happiness that leads to great downfall. But like, I don't think he cares what I say. I want to motivate him to do better but I don't know how. He just gets mad or sad if I try to help him. I don't know any way to motivate him other than what I'm doing. I try to talk with him but he always takes it as an attack. I of course set good examples because I work hard to be nice and I never break laws or have delinquent behaviors, but his role models seem to be trailer trash rather than people like me. I try to encourage him to be happy by trying to do fun things with him (things that don't require illegal or risky behaviors, too). But like, as soon as the opportunity comes up to do drugs or impress a girl who might sleep with him or anything like that, even if it means hurting himself and those who care about him, he will jump on it and abandon me.

I wish there was a way I could just die right now. I don't know why I'm so afraid of it hurting. I mean, I'll just die in the end. Isn't that pain, as bad as it may be, worth it...? I guess I'm not so afraid of pain before death. I'm afraid of it hurting and then me living through it. I guess I more want to be 100% sure I will die before I try anything.

I don't really know what to think or feel right now. I'm just staring out the window and looking at the fruit things on the trees and thinking about how they kindof look like eyes. I might just go lay in bed and play Persona.

I'm supposed to be writing a CV and proposal letter thing and all this crap. I don't want to do it. I don't even want to go back to school right now. I don't want to do anything. I want to just have some magical income and live on a secluded island where I can grow my own food and just have everything shipped to me. lol. Like Island of Happiness but without other people, and with electricity... or something. I don't know. I just don't ever want to see another human being IRL again. I just want to be somewhere where I can be alone forever and play games without ever stopping, and get new games whenever I want.

Of course that is not life. Life is misery and suffering and pretending like it's not. Life is pretending to have compassion to benefit yourself. Life is nothing but lies and selfishness. Human life is a terrible thing. I hate my own humanity.

Maybe it's all like Kingdom Hearts, except now humanity has lost sight of the light. Maybe it's just our world. I want to build a gummi ship and see other worlds. I want to bring light to humans. I don't like living in a world plagued by darkness.

I don't know what I'm saying... hah. I should just stop now. I'll go drink the last of the grapefruit juice. Then the only thing I'll have to drink is tap water that runs grey. Huzzah. I guess I can just boil it and drink hot water all the time. I still have some tea, too.

"You're the perviest perv who ever perved!"
"Arrrgh! You hag! You're a haggity hag who hags all hagging day!"

lmfao XZDD

Well, the holidays remind me of how alone I am, and how different I am from normal people (and thusly alone), and how torn apart my family is, and how my presence is usually not welcome most places. Though I usually don't get wangsty about it unless I am asked questions like this and then I start to dwell on it. But I don't even really feel up to that right now.

I woke up this morning hoping for TokiMemo4 to finally arrive. Instead I got a ton of envelopes. Debt collectors are coming after me now because my father isn't paying my school loans. And like, I don't mean like he's supposed to pay mine... he's not paying the parent loans that he got in his name that of course have my name attached to them because they were for me. And like, we both had to get loans so I could go to school, and I'm paying all mine in my name regularly. So I'm not trying to like... throw responsibility on him or something.

My father is also not paying a lot of money he owes to people. He's not paying his bills and stuff. Every day the phone rings from sunup to sundown with threatening calls from debt collectors. They've contacted my mother and even her mother. They've been divorced for like 11 years. My mom just said she hasn't spoken to him in all that time. Which is largely true. She very well knows his whereabouts though. But like IDK it is not her problem and she shouldn't have to deal with it.

So soon I might suddenly owe a ton of debt money in place of my father. I can barely afford to keep up on my own. It's really scary. It's also not motivational at all. I can barely afford to feed myself and my brother, who I'm now taking care of after he lost his job due to his felony and more recently lost everything he owned due to some attack on his apartment. I mean I'm not paying for the place we live in because it's my father's house, but I'm paying for our food and soap and transportation and everything else that we need, and those kinds of expenses pretty much double when you're paying for two people. My father refuses to buy us food, though one time he did pay for some groceries, but usually I have to do it myself. When I ask him for help, he talks down to me and says stuff like "you have a job, don't you?" as if I'm really stupid for even expecting him to offer some help so that I have food to eat. Why would a father EVER help their child sustain life?! I'm so dumb for thinking he'd be generous enough to do something so selfless, I guess????

I really need to get a better job, but I don't know what to do. I've applied for everything I can think of, even things I would be miserable doing, but no one wants to hire me. I'm old but I have like... no experience or abilities. Add that to the fact that people just aren't wanting to hire anyway, my chances of finding a job are pretty much 0.

Work is going to start getting scarce soon, and I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to keep up on paying for all my loans and the cost of living minus rent for my brother and myself. Like as in I really think I might not be able to do it, and I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Even if I sold everything I owned, it would only be a temporary fix, so I'd just end up with more debt in the future and then I'd have nothing to my name at all.

I guess if I stopped eating, it would save a good amount of money. I'd still have to pay for my brother's food, I guess, though.

What's worse is that being in this situation makes me extremely unmotivated, which is only going to lead to sitting around and worrying and not actually making any progress toward somehow surviving financially.

I guess no matter what, life goes on. There will always be something. I won't die because I can't afford to live like normal people. Maybe I can go live in a jungle or something. It's better than living on the streets and eating out of the garbage. I'd probably just die in a jungle, but that's better than living on the streets and eating out of the garbage, too.

My brother is watching some really ridic movie so I can't play Chain of Memories.

Today is a wonderful day.

I just stayed up til 3AM reading Kingdom Hearts wiki.

...

...

X_X;

I really can't afford to decline any assignments for this last week, so I guess it's a 2 hour sleep for me. If I can even sleep. I'm not even that tired. But I sure as heck will be tired after I go to bed now and try to get up in 2 hours.

I wonder if Tokimeki Memorial 4 will come tomorrow. It's been forever since the release. This will be the 12th day since the release, so 10 business days... where's my shipment D:? Why bother preordering a game that's coming from another country... you don't get it until everyone's already finished playing it :(

Actually I don't know ANYONE playing this game O_o I haven't even run across a MENTION of it online unless I'm specifically looking for it.

OK, gonna go lay in a bed for a couple hours T_T

ETA: OK, I'm still up. I just spent the last hour researching and contemplating the canon of Mega Man games and trying to explain a way in which a single story path to MMX5 can be true and lead to both MMX6 and MMZ without contradictions, or if the events of X5 can lead to X6 or Z at all. ( spoilers for all kinds of MMX and MMZ games... ) And now it's almost 5AM. Time to wake up...?

Was just sketching/scribbling and I liked this one :)

I am in love with Naminé, and I love the bittersweet ending to Chain of Memories.

I was playing Castle Age, and facebook showed me this.

...
...
...
...
...
...
...
<3 <3 <3

And I'm listening to Sanctuary from KH2. I feel like I'm in some kind of dream world right now.

If I could draw better animate, I would just make animated music videos all the time. They would prolly be too messed up for anyone to watch but me, but it would be cool o_______________o;

When I finished Re:CoM's main storyline, I started up Reverse/Rebirth. ( spoilers )

OH one thing I like about Re:CoM is that after you clear the game you get a 'theater mode' in which you can watch ALL the scenes in the game! Even the little scenes from each world :) It puts them in the order you put them when you climbed Castle Oblivion, and you can even choose "view all" so you can watch the entire story from beginning to end without running through all the rooms and stuff :D It even includes the Simple & Clean opening and ending :)

I hope I unlock like... "Theater 2" or something after Reverse/Rebirth. The story/ending to R/R better be worth it... XZD;;;

1st game clear:

Game level: Proud Mode
Journal covered: 83%
Card Collector Rank: Rare Card Hunter
Enemies defeated: 4728
Special treasures obtained: 5/24 (T_T)
Card Breaks: 3818 times
Sleight most often used: Strike Raid 531 times
Clear time: 23:06

:) I loooove the ending to this game <3

Naminé ♥♥♥♥♥

( stats & deck )